I have a pair of socks I can no longer wear. Bright stripy ones, in case it matters. Advertised as knee length but they never managed much past mid calf since their first wash.
But I’m scared of these socks. I keep pulling them out of the drawer but have not been able to throw them away. They are worn; holey in places. But this is not why I cannot wear them. Last month I was close to throwing them away, but now I cannot.
These socks are noticeable in the pictures, glaring out incongruously from the rest of my black garb. Vibrant glimpses shining through the uniforms of the cops dragging me to the van.
But I remember the socks most from the police station. The socks I was forcibly strip searched from as I lay restrained on the floor.
And it’s the socks I remember as they forced me through fingerprinting via pain compliance. Bright happy socks in a world of violence. Colourful merriment as my head was held down and my neck pressure pointed. Smirking stripes as my hand was bent in on itself and I cried out in pain.
I remember wishing the socks weren’t so tatty. I wanted better socks. My scruffy socks were the final degradation. I suppose it’s the wearing your best knickers syndrome. Only I don’t remember which knickers I was wearing, so my knickers don’t bother me.
But I can’t bring myself to wear these humiliating socks. Throwing them away seems like defeat. So they remain, taunting me with unresolved dilemmas, every time I open my drawer.
5 comments:
Reminds me of a pair of leg warmers I have, they are rainbow colours stripy legwarmers, that I used to wear all the time in the eighties with leggings and little skirts over the top. The skirts I wore were often skirts I made or rehashed from charity shop finds. As legwarners are becoming popular again,and my daughters wearing them, I mentioned them to her but she's so individual in her fashion she wasn't interested (a bit like I was, and maybe still am a little bit) I don't think she will wear them. I guess they will stay in my drawer.
lol
Jacqui xxxxxx
u could cut them up. to destroy the power they have over you. they did their job. you don't need them any more. there are things you need to fight and things you don't..... love u S xxxxxx
Could you make them into glove puppets and do a puppet show in which the stripey anarchist sock defeats the scuzzy cop sock, changes the world and enacts horrible revenge on all the nasty cop socks?
xxx
(Too much time on my hands, moi?)
oh i like the puppet idea, that's great!
It is funny the things that jump up and bite you on the arse, reminding you of things that you want to forget. I have a t-shirt like that - reminded me of a terrible time. It was a good t-shirt and I gave it too a charity shop - hopefully someone else wears it now with no bad memories. I still remember but not when I open my draw to get dressed before breakfast or searching for a something to sleep in late at night.
Get rid, I say. It is not defeat it is action.
xxx
ps you done any more chapters, I'd love to see them??
Post a Comment