When to intervene?

I haven't had internet access for a few days - Tiscali promised us we'd have it in seven to ten days, but are now saying it's going to be another seven to ten days.

But I'm at the shop today and trying to catch up with lots of things including this post which I wanted to write when I got off the train.

One of the things I never know is when to intervene with people who have kids. This is partly due to my own reaction as a mother which is inevitably tell people to "fuck off". I take intervention personally and it is very rarely welcome.

A mother got on the train at Paddington with a girl who I' guessing was somewhere between two and three - she seemed younger than Jack. She got on in a bit of a fluster as the guard had helped her on to the family carriage and she had seats booked somewhere else. I was sitting in the family carriage because there are two seats there with a big table which are, in my opinion, the best seats on the train.

Being a human being, I gave up my seat for her and sat behind her. During this encounter, she was glued to her mobile, giving a running commentary to whatever friend she was speaking to.

Fine. However the only times she got off her phone were when the signal cut out. Meanwhile her daughter was getting progressively more bored and was obviously desperate for attention. Her response was to moan to the friend about how her daughter was doing her head in. At one point she smacked the kid's arm for pulling off the head rest pieces of fabric (what is the point of those things anyway?) Not a huge wallop by any stretch of the imagination, but enough to make me wince.

But it wasn't so much the smack, but the fact this child needed attention, needed someone to interact and play with her. It was on the tip of my tongue to say something, to say give your child a cuddle and play with her instead of bitching at her for being a toddler.

I like to think my lack of communication wasn't down to listening to her conversation about how many fights she had got into in various clubs but I'm sure it didn't help. But ultimately it was because I knew my response to intervention would have been aggressive.

She got off the train at Newton Abbot and I still can't work out whether I should have said something.

Oh, and what is it with people who do loads of things whilst on the phone so their neck's are constantly cricked? Don't they feel it? If I did that I'd be in pain. Maybe it's practice (although not something I'd want to practice). I'd rather abolish mobiles, not having the convenience of a mobile would be far better than listening to other's people constant drivel.

xx