Banks and mobile phones

Any post with the above title cannot be good. Unless I've been transported into a strange magical universe where banks and mobile phone companies are full of beautiful, caring sharing people who want nothing more than to strive a better, more beautiful world for themselves and generations to come.

No? Didn't think so.

It started yesterday when I discovered how little rent money was in my bank account and how much I was going to have to borrow. I went through my bank statement - something I can rarely bring myself to do - and discovered I had been charged £38 for a standing order for £4.99 for phone insurance I never wanted in the first place.

Ha, I thought, I've read a bit about the fiasco surrounding bank charges recently, I should be able to claim these back.

Of course it wasn't that simple. Apparently this is not something I can discuss over the phone. There's a special department sent up to deal with the recent claims on bank charges. Can I have the address? Of course not. I must write to my branch and they will forward it to the correct department.

However, I won a partial victory. He agreed to refund half the money, claiming it wasn't within his power to give any further deduction.

Then it was onto the mobile phone. I'd be suckered into a contract phone simply because I was so surprised any company would give me credit for one. The half price, £20ish tariff seemed manageable and I was assured I would be able to downgrade easily once the six month half price offer had run out.

However when I went back to the shop (Jag), I was told I wouldn't be able to downgrade for another three months and when I did, it would cost me £25. I complained and the branch manager assured me who would refund the difference in three months.

So, after three months of paying £45 a month, I went back into the shop today. I was told I was allowed to downgrade for free - fantastic I thought - however this scheme would only let me download onetariff at a time which basically took me down to £40 a month. Great. I agreed to pay £25 in order to downgrade to a £25 a month package - the cheapest one I could get. However I was then told this would't take effect until next month which would have meant nearly £80 coming out of my account on the same day as the rent.

I got angry. I wouldn't have minded so much if the phone worked well. But the backlight packed in after a couple of months and the battery life is abyismal. However I managed to remember to get the money back before I stormed out of the shop in rage and got them to issue me a cheque for £30 (I didn't have the energy to try and argue for more).

I then went to the bank and cancelled all standing orders and direct debits other than my rent, including my gym membership which I haven't used since August. Fuck 'em. I don't have a good credit rating and I don't own anything - so come on, do your worst!

So, if a funny kind of a way, I came out on top. I gained an extra £50, but somehow felt very unsatisfied and annoyed.

And then, in final revenge, I dropped my phone. I plugged it into the charger and discovered the screen is now broken. I then had two frustrating beeps as text messages beamed, undechiprable, onto my phone.
xx