Yes, it's been one of those sorts of conversations, the sort where we discuss whether we stay in a sexless relationship because of Jack and ends with me in tears. We've had these eliptical discussions many times, but they never lead to any conclusions.
I hate the breakdown and break ups of relationships. It is something I have always been bad at, always staying so much longer than I should. Only this is different because we are friends. We do get on well, but there's nothing more than friendship left. And I no longer know what is for the best.
But I'm trying not to think about it. I always find denial useful if not very helpful. What will be will be and a thousand other cliches. My brain switches off whenever I try to think about it and all I'm left with is a need to sleep.
I need to do college work today, but I'm putting it off. I can't seem to get motivated about anything.
Although all of this is probably due to the fact that my mind and body are a swirling mess of PMT. I am the irrational bitch from hell when I have PMT. Either that or a pathetic burbling puddle on the floor. I think I'm more of a puddle at the moment. I'm finding it difficult to find inspiration even though I know i need to work even if I don't find it inspiring. Not everything can be inspirational after all. The inspirational projects are few and far between but I still have to tread the water and complete the boring shit as well.
I think I'm going to go and make a list of all the things. It's a nice bit of procrastintion which will also hopefully help me recognise and prioritise what I need to do.
xx
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2 comments:
We need to drink wine. Can you get a night off? xx
I don't know you, but I'm you'll be strong. We can tell from the beautiful photo in your profile. Fuck 'em all - partners, mobile companies and banks alike. It will work out in its own way whatever. These things do.
{{hug}}
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