I'm back in the past. Back in the days of drug fuelled nights, back to the jittery years. I feel on uncertain ground. Those days seem so clear but they are also a bit of a blur.
Chewing our faces with nashing jaws, being unable to control the rushes as the music and dancing peaked. Good, good feelings. Fellings of innocence and love, of total compassion. Feelings of being in the right place at the right time. Feeling like I was living in a dream, although in retrospect, what a fucking dream.
It seems so alien now. I can't imagine ever doing all that now. And it's not just because of Jack, it's because of my mental health and I know how fucked up Class As would make me now.
Class As, I like that. Top of the class. A gold star for effort. Or a little white pill will do. Predominately they were little white pills. The quality was declining and I remember being concerned at the pills speckled with brown. Not concerned enough to not thake them. I don't think I've ever turned down a pill. But then I was monster, a proper pill monster, always searching for the next, higher hit. Searching until it got to 6am and I was blacking out and falling to the floor.
Never mind, nothing a spliff and a cup of tea won't sort out.
Friday, October 20, 2006
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