Thoughts

Before:
Fresh starts. Fresh perspectives. A blank page. I’m afraid of the blank page.There’s so much I need to write. I’ve deliberately left all my old notebooks at home today so that I can just experiment with the potential of the new. I need progression not reflection at the moment.I’m waffling and I can’t seem to stop. I am on cruise control and the auto pilot has jammed. The record keeps skipping, scratching without style. Tripping up like a small child learning to skip.I need to write about fighting, about feeling strong and powerful. About believing. About passion. About a longing to achieve something tangible. About saying “fuck you baby, I’m an anarchist. Let’s flip a finger to society and all that sails in her.”But more subtly, about the power that comes with experience and about seriousness. About being focussed. About being sure. About feeling that there is no other option. Any other option would render me a hypocrite and I want to be true to myself – this has always been my ultimate aim. I will take them on and I will win because I have to win. I will triumph, morally at least. Practicalities are always harder.